Not a baby bump

Yoga is helping me in so many ways!!!!! I am starting to love and accept myself in ways that I never thought imaginable. There was a time I could not stand the sight of my naked body, now I find it hard to stop looking. It's not because yoga made my body awesome and for rid of my fat stomach, saggy boobs, stretch marks, tiny booty or anything. It's because I am learning that all of those things are ok! I am learning to appreciate where am I am and love myself unconditionally. I have on a cami top from target in this pic. I used to wear these all the time before I had kids. I loved them, they just made me feel so girly and "sexy" but in a sweet way. I stopped wearing them because I became ashamed of my stomach and small boobs after having my kids. I don't know what made me buy those $8 shirts that I have been avoiding all these years, but I am so glad I did. I don't know where the confidence came to actually wear the cami but I have it on as we speak. I'm sure this cami will also bring back memories for my husband :)

To go off topic a little, I have been a little concerned about my weight recently. Since doing the 80/10/10 diet and increasing my yoga, I can feel and sometimes I think I can see some weight loss. This is not good for me! But when I think about it, I am only back down to my pre-kid days. I have always wore and xsmall everything. Before my kids t pants were always size 0. So it's no wonder I can't fit my clothes that I have acquired over the last few years. I'm not at an unhealthy weight, I am simply back to my baseline. As long as I don't lose my little booty I don't care about going back to being my tiny self. That is who I have always been.

801010

Today is day 4 of eating raw veagn following the 80/10/10 guidelines. For the most part, I am enjoying it but I am experiencing some struggles. My biggest issue is dinner. I cant eat these huge salads most people speak of. My belly gets full before finishing half of it. Maybe Im eating too much fruit before meals? I am also struggling with calorie counting. I'm not sure how many calories I should take in. There are many rules to follow for calculating calorie requirement. I was aiming for 1500-2000 but notice that with breakfast and lunch I take in almost 1000 calories and by dinner I'm not that hungry.

So here's what I have been eating

Breakfast- persimmon smoothie I use 5 which makes 500 calories

Lunch mango smoothie- I use 3-4 which gives around 400

Snacks are usually 2 cups of red grapes about 200 calories

Dinner is where I struggle. It's not that I don't like salad, I just get full so fast. I can eat a whole bunch of kale salad, but romaine and spinach are tough. I will usually have a mango smoothie before or during dinner or some kind of fruit snack either grapes, banana or kiwi.

I am experiencing some positives with this diet. I am saving tons of time, I get so happy when food shopping and my mood has improved a lot. I am learning to love fruit, prior to 801010 I hardly ate fruit, now I am having it daily! My belly has had a serious break, I still get bloated but don't really experience the pain I had before, I notice how much faster my food digests when compared to cooked food.

I must say that I hardly ever feel hungry since I started 801010, my meals usually keep me full for about 4 hrs, this is around the time I would eat another meal. I am also eating more. Before I would always skip lunch because "I didn't have time" lol now I have lunch everyday :) so far I am happy, but I know I have struggles to work through but I am hoping I can give this at least a full month.

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80/10/10

I feel much better today than yesterday~ I wasn't as bloated this morning even after i ate. I had grapes for breakfast and coffee. I not sure how much grapes I ate, I just ate until I felt content. Then I had the coffee.

For lunch I was gonna have chinese. I ate it last night and didn't any problems. I instead decided to eat banana wraps instead. I had 2 large bananas wrapped in lettuce with cinnamon

I surprisingly felt content after eating that, so I am gonna avoid cooked food unless I get hungry. I plan on eating the chinese food :) So far 80/10/10 isn't too bad. I have been making small changes. Mainly I will eat fruit first and then if Im still hungry I will eat something else. Im not really measuring yet, but as I go further with this I will to ensure I ma getting enough.

Here are some pics of my belly. This first pic was taken a few days after eating girl scout thin mints. It took almost a week for my stomach to feel better.

Next pic is this morning, a week later exactly. It looks and feels much better, although it does probably show well in the pic.

Frustrated!

I know I really shouldn't be, but I am so tired of obsessing over my belly and food. I'm still getting bloated no matter what I eat. Somedays I just give in and eat something that I know is gonna make things worse, but I just get so mad that I'm not seeing results. Research says that it can take months for the damage from gluten to go away. I can't understand why my stomach is pretty much flat in the morning and then blows up even when I eat stuff without gluten? Is it because when I eat those proteins still in my stomach get activated but the peristaltic activity or is there something else wrong? I sometimes think its not just the gluten but also the fact that my abdominal muscles are still almost nonexistent

As frustrating as this is, I refuse to give up. I look at everyday as a start over. Especially because my stomach is flat in the morning :) lol everyday I am getting better at eating more fruits and vegetables. Sometimes one or two meals of the day for me are fruits and veggies. I mention this because I purchased the 80/10/10 book. I am trying to incorporate it into my lifestyle.

Here's to another day:)

Two things

1. I think I'm really gonna get serious about a gluten free diet, maybe even raw vegan

2.my iPhone stopped working, it won't come on. Surprisingly I am not worried or upset .

...let's elaborate

I have been really ignoring my gluten sensitivity. I'm paying for that right now, my stomach has been bloated to the point of pain for almost 3 days now. I'm considering trying a raw vegan diet or at least just fruits, veggies and whatever meat I can tolerate. I'm really sick of feeling like this, but I'm also sick of focusing so much on what to eat and what not to eat. I want to have smoothies for some meal replacements, but I love to actually chew lol. I want to give this change a real chance,but it's so hard. I know it takes weeks even months to really see the symptoms of gluten intolerance disappear,but I will never get there if I keep slipping.

 

The second thing, my phone just stopped working it will not power on. The other day I was thinking about how I kinda just stopped watching tv. Even my young n the restless I haven't watched in months. I just not desire it anymore. I was also thinking of a way to decrease my phone use. I'm constantly on Facebook, twitter, and instagram. I check my email constantly. What better way to fix this addiction than getting rid of the phone. Normally, I would be mad and going crazy wondering how I wk.l survive without a phone or worrying how soon I could get a replacement. I'm not worried at all. It's really weird. The only thing that's gonna suck is driving. I use my phone for music during my 1 hr work commute:(

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Chickpea burgers

Delicious! I used:
1 can chickpeas
Handful of snack size carrots
Red onion
2 garlic cloves
Green pepper
1 Jalepeno pepper
Breadcrumbs
1egg

I blended everything together then added the egg then breadcrumbs. I also added curry powder, black pepper, old bay seasoning, and sea salt before I made the patties
Next I heated a pan with olive oil then fried each side for about 4 minutes!

Easy easy easy and soooo good! The real test will be if my family eats them. Lol I know they won't though

Gluten free update

Really more like decreasing my gluten intake. I have notice over the past month or so that my bloating is so much better. I have been avoiding gluten as much as I can. I haven't bought lunch at work in over a month :) I find that I can tolerate maybe 1 serving of gluten in a meal a day without having pain or too much bloating.

In addition to limiting gluten, I have also starting drinking lemon water in the morning and having green smithies. Now I can't afford to replace a meal with a smoothie but I just encorporate them into my diet. While my stomach is much better as far as looks an feeling, I had I have a list a few Pounds. I notice the other day my jeans and even tights were looser? I was a little annoyed by this because I'm only barely 100lbs. I guess I will have to really work on introducing more healthy sustainable options and. Not focus so much on eliminating stuff.

Here's to another week! I'm headed to the market :)

Oh yeah I almost forgot, I tied corn pasta last week and it was great! The taste wasn't bad an everyone ate it.

New Blog

I plan on going deep into my yoga practice in all aspects of my life. If you haven't noticed,i have been constantly talking yoga. well, i decided to make a blog dedicated to it :)

iyengarjourney.blogspot.com

My first in person yoga class!

Finally I got the courage to go to an actual yoga class. My first class was free at Lululemon. I believe many locations hold free classes every Sunday. I bet everyone wants to know why I chose a free class. Well, it was because I met a teacher via twitter/instagram, she posted that she was teaching a free class. I was off the day of and the day after, so I decided to go for it.

My biggest fear of in person yoga, is embarrassment. With my GI issues I have tons of gas at all times lol. I was so afraid of letting lots of gas out during class. Suprisingly, I wasn't too bad. I kegeled and tightened my muscles during "vulnerable" postures and just kept it moving :)

Another reason I held off taking class was the "om factor". I couldn't imagine sitting in a room with strangers saying "om" I thought it would be weird lol. It was actually fine, not creepy or weird AT ALL. I accepted all two OMs and enjoyed them:)

The actual class was great, I think they called it sun salutes or something. We did a few sun salutations but thats not all we did. We transitionioned a lot but we also held poses for about 5 breaths at a time. I was able to recall all the poses and get into them with hardly any problems. The instructor did correct me during warrior pose. I had my knee way over my ankle and my back foot wasn't turned the right direction.

The actual instructor was a breath of fresh air. A fellow curly girl, with a soothing voice, and even a few jokes. She was refreshing, after class we chatted for a minute or so and she joked about inversions. She thought I would be bored with her class because of the lack of inversions. I assured her I was not bored at all.

I can say for sure now there's a huge difference between class and DVDs. I was able to follow and pay attention for the whole hour, my mind didnt wander, I kept up with the poses. I was able to just "BE" . My mind was able to shut down of my to do list, worries, concerns, and plans. Instead my mind was focused on breathing and flowing into the postures to suite my needs. I wasn't worried about how I looked or if I was photogenic while in downward dog. Lol

I just really enjoyed the moment :)

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Happy New Year 2013!!!

I spent the New year at work on call! I was there all night :( Im recovering from a work hangover. Still, I was able to do a little yoga this morning. Later tonight, I hope I have the energy to make the "traditional new years dinner" lol

Working on those goals :)

I may have mentioned before that my most recent life/career goals include taking a yoga instructor course and obtaining certification as a holistic nurse.

Last week I contacted a yoga studio near my house. I had search tons of programs near my home and even up to an hour away. The problem was scheduling, every program meets Friday-Sunday. Unfortunately, I have to work 2 Fridays every month so that wasn't going to work for me. When I thought all was lost, I came across Tulaa Yoga Studio. This studio is 30 minutes from my house and meets every Thursday and every 3rd weekend. It will take 8 months to complete. I spoke with the studio owner who was kind enough to offer support and advice while I prepare for class next year :) I also learned that Tulaa's training program will include some theories and teachings from the Himalayan Institue

Finally, I discovered The Birchtree Center . I even spoke to the owner/operator. This center center provides training for nursing seeking holistic education/certification and more. The next training session isn't until spring and fall 2013. I also spoke to an instructor at my old nursing school, she is a graduate of the Birchtree Center and highly recommends the program. I love how everything is falling into place. I really hope and pray that things will continue to work itself out:) I don't know yet what I will do with this new education/certification, but it's on my heart so I must pursue it. Who knows where it may lead me!

Can you say EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

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Complementary and Alternative Medicine Online Certificate Program | 60141 Continuing Education Unit at Nurse.com

Complementary and Alternative Medicine Online Certificate Program | 60141 Continuing Education Unit at Nurse.com

Newtown,CT

I'm sure you have heard about the terrible tragedy.a school shooting at an elementary school, in a kindergarten class room! I believe 27 people where killed 28 including the gun who killed himself and his mother. Ava wanted to stay home yesterday because she want feeling well. I agreed, when I heard about the shootings I just looked at her and cried. I was so thankful she was ok and at home even though her school was ok. My prayers and thoughts are stuck on those families, I had a hard time falling asleep just thinkin how they must be feeling. I held my son for almost and hour with tears in my eyes while he slept. If only we could hold our babies in our arms forever. It really breaks my heart knowing that we have to send our children out in this world. How am I suppose to explain toy daughter thy she's safe at school? Thank god she doesn't know what happened and I debating whether or not I should tell her. I don't want her to hear about it elsewhere, and be confused and scared. We must pray!!! We must have faith that God is always in control and does not make mistakes. We must have faith that those 27 people don't die in vain!

A blessed day

Yesterday, I attended 2 parties one being my nephews 4th bday:). Before the parties I was able to cook, do laundry, yoga, and retwist my hair! My yoga DVD also arrived, It was a very nice day!!

The birthday boy and I

 

My daughter and nieces

 

Standing forward fold

 

 

My growing yoga/holistic health library

 

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Yoga today :)

I kept it simple. Very relaxing

Legs up wall

 

 

 

 

Bow pose

 

Cat pose

 

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Yoga and Instagram

Earlier today, a yogi blogger at yogabycandace.com referencing the "competitive nature" that is becoming of some yogi instagramers. In a nut shell, Candace blogged about the concern for yoga becoming competitive and losing its true meaning. I read her blog early this morning, and here at 1030pm its still on my mind! Im not sure if its because I feel guilty or if its my true love for yoga awakening.

I decided I would like to take a Yoga Teacher Training class. Not so much to teach, although I would like to one day. But I want to take the course to learn so much more about yoga than I ever could through youtube, twitter, and instagram. Yoga has done so much for me these past few months and I just want to learn as much about it as possible.

Gosh darn, off the topic lol. Anyways, since reading Candace's post, I have decided to shy away from these yoga challenges. My intentions aren't good, to be honest I am participating "because I can" i love the ego trip you get when you upload a cool pose and receive a ton of likes. Im embarrassed to say this, but its the truth. THis is not what yoga is about however, like Candace says. Instead I am going to continue my practice and upload at my leisure. I really want to be develop a "strict" yoga practice. I really want to know the basics. Instagram has been hindering me from getting where I need to be with yoga in a way. Tis all for now :)


For some seriously annoying reason,I can't get links to work! Please google search "yogabycandace" Sorrrrrryyyyy..........

Maybe I won't be gluten free

I did pretty well last week, but this week I was horrible. The 3 days I worked I ate pretty well and avoided gluten all but one day. The 3rd day of work, I just decided to buy lunch and ate a sandwich on regular bread with feta cheese! I felt so bad about messing up, I just figured I would continue to do damage and ate a huge chocolate brownie cookie. Fast forward to the past two days, I am still bloated and I ate pizza today despite already having issues. Im sitting here feeling pregnant because thats how tight my stomach is. Im trying not to get too discouraged, because I know I can do this. Its just a little harder than I expected. Next week, I need to make sure I buy enough fruits/vegetables, and cook at least 3 meals/week. I also have to buckle down on my food diary Heres to next week....

Why Yoga?

There are so many reasons I started practicing yoga and even more reasons why I continue. My initial reason was to help repair my diastasis recti. As I learned about the ab separation I have and why its so, I decided I needed to focus on my body as a whole. I also wanted to do some cool asanas and not just those boring core postures lol. Core postures are so important though, I just get bored easily so I needed to explore movement within yoga. Thats when I learned about Vinyasa flow and so on. By no means am I even an intermediate level yogi, but some days I pretend to be lol

Ok, we are getting off track. I explained why I began yoga, now I will get into why I continue to practice. I am so ashamed to admit, but I have issues. I have moments of depression and low self esteem! Shocking, I know if you know me personally, but yes its true. I also have the problem of comparing myself to almost everyone else, and wondering if I need to change so many things about myself and my life. Even though I am truly blessed, I still would feel sad for no reason and just question if I am truly happy. This is when I decided I needed to be able to take time away from it all and just be. Just breathe, think, reflect, and feel that I am ok! I will never forget my first few yoga sessions, I instantly felt like a heavy weight was lifted. I was on an emotional high. I felt so good, and this was only after maybe 20 minutes or so lol. So, its very easy to see why I continue yoga... but there are so many more reasons~

My self esteem issues... smh, I can't believe I am going here. Don't get me wrong, I know Im not ugly and I know theres nothing "wrong" with me. But again, I would constantly worry about how I think I should look?!?!? Jarred tells me all the time I am beautiful just the way I am, and that I don't need to change a thing. He gets so upset when I share my body issues with him, because he just doesn't see me as I see myself. He sees a beautiful person inside and out, without flaws and I truly love him for that. He doesn't care that I have locs, he doesn't care about my flabby stomach, stretch marks, or skinny legs. These are all my issues. But with yoga, I am really learning to appreciate all my "flaws" they aren't even really flaws! My biggest insecurity right now is my stomach and sometimes flabby small appearing boobs lol ( hey child birth and breastfeeding did this ) The more I practice, the more I am loving my body just the way it is. I am becoming more concerned with my overall health, more so than my physical appearance. Being half naked in yoga outfits, has made me so much more confident. I always felt really skinny , like I had no shape lol. But the more I look at myself and feel my body moving and muscles working, I see that I'm not so bad after all lol.

I still have such a long way to go, but I feel so much better than I did months ago. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I know if I continue this journey I am on, I won't be disappointed. I encourage everyone to try yoga, theres something in it for everyone, mediation alone is powerful! Just taking a moment to breath and relax your mind and body,with just the sound of your breath is uplifting. How many times a day do we just consciously breathe? Of course we are breathing all day long, but to mindfully breath in and out for even just a few breaths will do wonders~! Give it a try, you will not be disappointed! Namaste :)

Holistic Health

Since practicing yoga and searching for a healthier lifestyle, I have almost become obsessed with learning how to deepen my practice and knowledge. I dream one day of being a yoga instructor and holistic health coach. Since I am a nurse, I naturally started my search on becoming a holistic practitioner with the http://www.ahna.org/. I got a little discouraged there, because in order to obtain certification you must already be a practitioner. I know there isn't many jobs out yet sooooo.... Im not sure I will be able to go that route. But, I am a big believer in nursing entrepreneurs and alternative nursing careers so I won't give up yet. I also found this site http://inursecoach.com/ This course cost about $4500 and requires four weekends thursday- sunday of training, I believe its based in NYC. The course I am most interested in is here http://www.wholehealtheducation.com/ this one is online, and provides enough hours to sit for certification. Its designed specifically for nurses. Cost is $5000.

With my new career goals, I just don't want to abandon being a nurse. After all, nursing was exactly what I wanted to do! But since making all of these lifestyle changes, I realize it only make since to incorporate them into a career if I can.

Another goal is taking a yoga teacher training course. Not just because I would like to be an instructor one day, but because I really want to know what I am doing lol. The cost is roughly $2500-3000 depending on where you go.

Decisions, decisions, I know anything is possible. I just have to decided what I want to do and how I would like to do it. Naturally, these ideas won't go into full affect until maybe 5-10 years from now :( But i do want to take either the nursing certification or yoga certification in the next couple years.

I have also been looking for yoga and holistic nursing/health conferences. I would love to attend one, this way I can meet people, and get information.

We will see what happens :)

My first "gluten free week"

Well, I am happy to say I made it through the week. Its been pretty easy to eat gluten free, the hard part is avoiding temptation of food I know will upset my stomach. I kept a food diary and updated it almost everyday. I basically ate kale salad for 2 or 3 days for lunch/dinner and breakfast was fruit and bacon or boiled egg. I also made a zuppa toscona soup inspired by Olive Garden. I used coconut milk and fresh vegetables/herbs. This soup was hearty and lasted me about 4 days. Things got tricky when I had a couple free hours before work wednsday. I needed breakfast and gave into a bacon and egg croissant. Initially I only ate half the croissant, but it was so good I had to eat the whole thing lol. Surprisingly, it didn't make my stomach feel horrible, I had bloating but it didn't last all day. I noticed my stomach has definitely gotten smaller. I stood in the mirror smiling for almost 10 minutes this morning because I was in shock!

After all my progress, I gave in again and ate mac n cheese, apple pie, and a small piece of chocolate cake. lol it wasn't all at once, but all in one day. Today actually, so Im a little bloated right now, but not uncomfortable.

I need to get planning for the week so I can keep this up. Oh, I almost forgot! I found a delicious gluten free cereal. Honey Nut chex!, that has been my go to breakfast/snack. I also tried Vans Gluten free waffles, they taste just like regular waffles and are both diary/gluten free :)

My next endeavor will be to try an herbal tea mixture. I watched a youtube video on using coriander, fennel, ginger, and cardamon to help with bowel distention. It sounds like it would taste awful, but I'm hoping just 4 or 6 ounces could help. I don't think I could take more than that lol

Last but not least, I expanded my yoga/health library today. I ordered I can't wait for it to arrive!