new laptop

an early christmas gift. i have been without a laptop for months now. my new laptop is a small 10in asus. its pretty cool ciz its small but has the memory and capabilty of a normal laptop:) now i can get back to uploading all my pics and downloading all my music, and posting to my blogs and such.

in other news i have a new nephew via daron. he was born on lakiethas bday 12/11!

work tommorow, so naturally i am sad about that.

dream house

I seen it today. jarred had been showing me this house for months but I couldn't appreciate it since I assumed the neighboorhood wasn't all that great. its in germantown and is one of the historical homes. it has a stone exterior, 7 bedrooms, 5 baths, 4 fireplaces. 5000 square feet on over half an acre. its in a beautiful setting, the backyard is almost like a park. the house does need lots of updating. I wasn't excited about the house until I actually seen it. I totally believe that jarred and I will owe it someday or a similar one. I have a great man for a husband and support and believe in him 10001% lol my kepadd messed up but I will leave the number like that. I can picture us in that house and in that neighborhood. I know we ca do it cuz I just think of all the other things I wanted and ended up getting. I never thought I would be an rn married to a resp therapist with the most beautiful amazing lil girl. I also got a job where I wamted and got the exact car that I wanted. I know any and everything is possible through god, faith, an hardwork. I am just writing this so next year when I am in my big beautiful house I can look back and be so ever grateful!

my ring

is more beautiful and soo much cooler than i could have ever expected. i am gonna have to buy diamond earings and a better looking necklace to accomadate my beautiful ring. lol i am also gonna have to start keeping prettier hands. good job jarred, love ya\\

wedding bliss

lol

things have worked out well. the date is set, everyhting is paid for, everyone is supportive, and we have a few more guest. only one thing is bothering me, my mom is terrified to fly and she hasnt had an identity in years. we thought she sent away her application for her id months ago, but she just admitted she only sent for it about 2 weeks ago. so now i am a little stressed thinking with the recent divorce and name change it may be a problem. we are planning on getting her a passport incase we cant get the id. i am also bothered that i havent seen or spoken to khalil in a month or so. he is the youbngest and he is living with some lady who takes in street boys. i dont know what he has been up too, and why he moved out but it really bothers me. hopefully after the wedding/vacation he will find his way back home.

anyhow, i have my dress and jewelry. i still have to go shopping for me and ava, we need a few moreoutfits. i need to get my dress steamed and find a garment bag/figure out how i am gonna carry it on a plane.....

looks like i will making everyone happy except myself

yesterday was a roller coaster as the other days has been since planning this wedding. to start i had to call work and have my vacation switched, which wasn't a problem. i was happy, i just knew everything was going to work out. Jarred was happy too, he planned on buying airfare when he got in and getting together invitations.

well, this morning while still on my happy little high, we call the chapel which would perform the ceremony and THE DATE IS AVAILABLE! i think this is to good to be true, the dates avaiable, airfare is the right price, and i got my vacation switched. so, jarred started investigating how far away the beach is from disney and its 70 miles! the chapel provides pretty much and inclusive pack which would provide a limo for up to 10 people. i doubt our wedding party will be bigger than that. Jarred decides now that he will feel bad for everyone who cant make it and wants to have his mom/rev gordon and the church "handle" our at home wedding and we will still have our beach wedding. this is way to much for me.

i dont understand why everyone just cant be supportive and deal with the fact that they may not be at the wedding? why does everyone have to put guilt on us? what the hell is wrong with people. i dont want to do things this way! i was so happy and excited when we first made our plans, now all of these crazy people have to say stuff to make Jarred feel bad. none of my family has said much, only good things. even if they did say something negative i wouldnt care. i have always been able to filter out what i dont want to hear. but now, i have to compromise and act happy all this time, while havign a wedding that i dont want. this is ridiculous and makes me really sad. i was so happpy when we were planning on just having our moms in florida with us. i dont want this big wedding but jarred does for everyone else. what about me? everytime i think about it it gives me a headache, i get nauseous and cry. it totally sucks.

more stress and sadness

so after jarred and i decided on a beach wedding is Florida, we were so excited. everyone was happy for us, except his mom who says "its not fair for those who want to be there and cant" she feels we should change our plans to accommodate everyone else. my initial reaction was "its our wedding and its about us". this is one of the main reasons i didnt want an at home wedding. i dont want peoples opinions and input, i want a stress free or at least minimal stress and i dont want to do a whole bunch of planning. i also dont want to put things off for too long because my hopes are up and its has been 8years!

another added stesser is airfare, we thought the tickets would be reasonable. they are not! its almost $900 for just me and jarred! we were planning on paying for my mom and khalil because its only a couple hundred dollars more, but we cant if airfare is going to be so expensive. rates for fling in october are only 64!!!! so we are now thinking about moving the date up to october. this would mean that i will have to try to get my vacation switched at work. jarred called his mom this morning to tell her we might be moving things up and of course she has the same reaction. i am seriously thinking of telling everyone the wedding is off, keeping of booked dates in novemember and goign with just the three of us. including all these ppl is becoming costly and expensive..


the other option is to have a small at home wedding. which i would consider but i had my heart set on the disney all in one. lol when i think about it, it would be nice to have more people be there and not feel bad for those that cant make it. but if i have an at home ceremony i am still aiming for the beach and depending on which beach, it may be 2-3hrs away. i am still going to here someone complaining!

i guess this all comes with the territory of planning a wedding! i am going to investigate havigna wedding close to home but on the beach. hopefully i will find something comparable. if not then we will just be going to florida in Nov just the 3 of us

stress and sadness

i am feeling not so good about the wedding now. it seems jarred isnt into planning. he doesnt want to book the hotel and schedule things now. we only have about 4 or 5 months till novemeber. what is sad is, i think he wants to go to disney in november but i think he is having second thoughts about the wedding. afterall, i never got a real proposal, i basically made he buy and ring abd propose. i just new i would get an official proposal or something after having ava but, no such luck. he did come up with the idea to get married in disney, but after all theses years you'd think he'd be rushing me to marry. its not like that. sometimes i think hes only with me because he knows no other way.


he also has his mind set now on buying a scooter because it will save so much in gas. i dont agree because i dont think a scooter is safe to be riding on the highway. he thinks i am just being mean.

yeah its been a while

but, my life was a rollercoaster the past few months~

to start off I am finished school and have beena nurse for 5 months now. i am working in the PACU just like i dreamed (lol) i like my job, its a lot of stress and hard work but after a few months and almost being off orientation, i am starting to like it.

ava is 14 months now, she just started walking a couple weeks ago. she is starting to imitate little words.

now, even better news! jarred and i have decided on a wedding date and location. we will be getting married Novemeber 2008 in disney world. i am really excited but really nervous that it may not happen. it is going to be expensive, but its perfect for us and its just cool. i always said that i do not want a big wedding and i dont want to have to do too much planning. disney is perfect, the package we will be doing includes the wedding location, limo, flowers, photography, cake and champagne reception, and.... a violinst ( lol). so far i am recrutitng my mom, hopefully sister with neice and nephew. jarred says he told his mom, but i am not sure if he did yet. his dad and sisters go to disney often so i am almost sure they will be there. i really hope things go as planned because i was never excited about a wedding until we decided to do it disney style.

ok, i think i need to run because miss ava is having a good time playing with dvds.


peace out